Epic _ _ _ _: A Confession

"Celebrate we will for life is short but sweet for certain."  -Dave Matthews Band

The word I was going to write in the title was "fail".  But, today as I sit down to write, I just can't write that word down.

This blog post has been bumping around my brain for about two weeks (an eternity), AKA since the last time I wrote a post (an eternity ago).  It started out as a diatribe about how incapable I seem to be at sticking to a goal.  Luckily, it sat and simmered and received some commentary from a few people I chatted with.

Slight panic attack in a box.  I guess that's what
I get for working at an elementary school.

I won't spend a great deal of time talking about how my eight weeks of Paleo-Zone went great for two weeks then fell off into the swarming, sleep-deprived blur that has been my life--the teacher's wall we crash into around this time of year.  (Is it just me, or didn't this just happen like six weeks ago?  Meh.)  Then, how I got my sh*% together for four more good days till it crashed and burned again.  Long story short:  it didn't happen.  The MBS Turkey Challenge is in eleven days and I am most certainly not where I envisioned I would be.

Instead of beating myself up, like I would normally do, I'm going to take a sec to list all the progress I HAVE made since ninety or so days ago...because life's not always about what's missing/lacking/needing improvement.  Sometimes, it's about celebration, suckas!

The Key to Success: Persistance over Perfection

"If parents want to give their children a gift, the best thing they can do is to teach their children to love challenges, be intrigued by mistakes, enjoy effort, and keep on learning."  -Mindset: The New Psychology of Success

So what is failure?  Failure is not making mistakes.  Failure is not trying something new and crashing and burning.  Failure is quitting.  Period.

In our society we are brainwashed by this idea of natural ability or being born smart.  This accepted belief sets up life in such a way that we tend to give up...quickly...rather than be willing to put in the work.  Think about it.  When you get praise (especially in the formative years) it is almost always commending your talent or intelligence, and not as often applauding the processes you used: amount of effort, strategies you employed or choices you made. The latter sends the message that success is often a process laden with mistakes and revisions, whereas the former simply acknowledges and values the end product giving no weight to everything that came before.

Inspirational message brought by the 6th grade hallway in my school.

Every day I join students in the battle of "catching up."  In a situation where they are already far below grade level, it is easy for them to give up and mumble, "I'm stupid."  It feels hopeless to them because effort and growth are often not what is most praised and recognized by adults.  And the sad thing is, when I am in their spot (like during my grad statistics and algebra classes last year), I do the same thing!  When I don't get it quickly, I (more often than I'd like to admit) get frustrated, throw up my hands, and start making excuses.  "I just don't get math."  "Why do I need to know this anyway?"  "My teacher sucks."

The Definition of Success

"The greater danger for most of us is not that our aim is too high and we miss it, but that it is too low and we reach it."  -Michelangelo

If only it was this easy!

I have only told a handful of people in my life about my upcoming endeavor.  Responses have been mixed...mostly positive, some a little concerned that my objective is too large, too challenging, that maybe I should take some baby steps instead of jumping in with both feet.  Granted, these are the people who know me...and my love for my substances...the best.  All of their thoughts and comments helped me start asking myself some questions.  How do I define success?  When have I been successful in the past and why?  What will it take for me to be successful now? 

For most of my life, success has been equal to nothing less than perfection.  Maybe it's the "first child syndrome", but all I know is when I did not live up to my own demanding standards, I felt frustrated, defeated, and just plain "not good enough."  As life breaks down my perfectionism bit by bit, my definition has morphed into a more loving one:  success simply means doing my best in each moment.  And we all know that our best will change according to context.  That frosty brew in my fridge might not even phase me on a relaxing Saturday as I'm leaving for a hike, but that same hoppy deliciousness will quickly be bubbling in my tummy after a grueling twelve-hour day of teaching and parent teacher conferences.